Surviving the Aftermath

So, you've done it. You've successfully made it through an online speed dating event. You were cheerful, outgoing, confident, and friendly, and you maintained conversations with up to twenty prospective partners. What now?

First of all, take a minute to breathe! Congratulate yourself on a job well done. Even if you didn't find any sparks flashing, you took the first step, and that's what's important.

Now have a look over your notes and figure out who you want to get to know better. Don't play hard to get . it only works in romance novels. If you're interested, let the other person know.

Making the Initial Contact

Making contact makes some people as nervous as the speed date itself, but if you never get in touch with your matches, you.ll be wasting a golden opportunity. Men, understand that many women will be waiting for you to take the first step. It's not fair, but it's the way things are. Women, understand that men are just as shy as you. Take a deep breath and make contact. He'll be flattered by your interest. Remember, if you matched up he.s already interested in getting to know you. That takes a lot of pressure out of the situation!

The speed-dating event was not the end of your adventure, but the beginning! Sure, you have a few names that might be interesting. That doesn't mean anything if you don't take the next step. Three to five minutes is not long enough to decide if you're interested in a relationship with someone. Get to know them, preferably over phone or email, and if you're still interested, it's time to meet!

You don't have to go to extreme measures to contact your partner; a friendly email will do. Include your name and remind them of key details in your conversation. Then put the ball in their court. Tell them when you're free and give them the option to return contact.

Here's an example of a contact email:

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Hi John,

I really enjoyed talking to you on our online .speed date.. Thailand sounds fascinating . I hope you can tell me more about it sometime! If you're interested in getting together for a cup of coffee, I'm free anytime this week except Thursday night. Why don't you send me an email and we can set something up?

Hope you're having a great week!

Jane

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Keep it friendly, informal, and to the point.

A Few Tips on Etiquette

·             Don't harass people. Contact them once, and if you suspect they may not have received your message, contact them a second time. If you receive no response, give it up. You don't need someone too rude to hit .reply. on an email, anyway.

·             Conversely, respond to people who contact you. Be honest, though . if you're not interested, politely say so. It's fine to offer to get together as friends if that's what you really mean, but be prepared for refusal. Try to avoid putting someone off by saying .I'll call you sometime.. It's harder, but far better, to gently admit that you're not interested than to string them along.

·             Reply to people promptly. With email, there is absolutely no excuse for not replying within twenty-four hours . even a brief response saying, .I'm really busy this week but I'd love to get together. How's next week?. is better than nothing at all. Phone calls should also be returned as quickly as possible.