The Stellar Relationship

They say that getting there is half the battle, but that doesn.t mean you should take a nap once you reach your destination. Relationships are like anything else in life: they take work and energy. If you.re not prepared to put time into your relationship, it will not be likely to succeed.

Dealing with the First Bumps

You.ll never find someone who.s a carbon copy of you, and you probably wouldn.t want to date them if you did. There are bound to be differences between you and your partner, and as you get to know each other, those differences can sometimes cause misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Knowing how to deal with the first signs of conflict can mean the difference between a long, healthy relationship and a quick crash.

·             Try to put off discussing serious issues for a while. Of course, if they are incredibly important to you . if, for instance, you couldn.t imagine dating someone who didn.t attend your church . it might be better to bring them up before things get carried away. For the most part, however, these things are better left until you have an idea of where the relationship is going. There.s no need to discuss how many children you want on the fifth date.

·             Be honest about your feelings. If your partner says something hurtful, call them on it, especially if they don.t seem to notice your reaction. Don.t be confrontational; just make it clear that the comment hurt you. Most of the time, you.ll find that the slight was unintentional. Most misunderstandings result from differences in the ways you think, something you.ll become more and more familiar with as your relationship progresses.

·             Be sensitive to your partner. If they seem quiet or hurt at something you said, even if you think they.re overreacting, take the time to find out why. You may have unknowingly triggered a sensitive issue for your partner, and you owe it to them to respect that.

·             Continue to avoid swearing, off-color humour, and serious discussions of politics and the likes until you know how your partner feels about them.

·             Respect your partner.s boundaries. Some people like to take things slowly, and just because you haven.t kissed after two or three dates doesn.t mean they don.t like you. If it.s really bothering you, make the first move and see how they respond.

·             Make sure you blow them away when you do get to your first kiss. It.s a pivotal moment in the relationship!

·             Don.t be afraid to show affection in other ways . hugs, touches of hands, resting your hands on their shoulders.

Different Dates

While you.re basking in the glow of getting to know one another, any old thing can seem like a good time. But in a few months you might be looking for something different than the same old dinner and a movie. Even a variation on this theme can be a lot of fun!

·             Explore the different restaurants in your hometown. Try something different from the same old places. What about Japanese food? Ethiopian? Indian? Pick something neither of you has tried before and make dinner an adventure.

·             See a foreign film, or an independent movie at a smaller theatre. You might not understand a word of it but you.ll both get a good laugh . and you might find yourself liking it more than you anticipated!

·             Go to an antique show. You probably won.t buy anything, but you can have fun looking around and just being together.

·             Learn to dance. Many places offer classes in swing, ballroom dancing, or even hip-hop. Let go of your inhibitions and cut loose. (Men get bonus points for taking this one on . and it will show her you.re willing to try new things).

·             Go on an adventure. Learn to rock climb, go white water rafting -- anything that will get the adrenaline flowing!

·             Spend some time outdoors. Go for a walk by a river, take a trip to a National Park, or just sit in the backyard. Depending on the season, you might try a snowball fight or building the world.s biggest snowman . whatever gets you moving!

·             Go to a water park and dare each other to try the wildest slides!

·             Find someplace you can build a campfire and sit outside under the stars.

·             Try attending a live theatre or musical event

·             Read together . take turns reading chapters of the latest bestseller

·             Go to a local sporting event

·             Be active together . bike ride, rollerblade, or play Frisbee in the park!

The key is to get out of the same old rut. Keep your relationship fun, spontaneous, and exciting. Make the effort to do something special together and you.ll find yourself bonding over new experiences!

Making It Spectacular

Even the best relationship can benefit from a few tips. Sometimes we come to know our significant others so well we forget to treat them with the common courtesy we.d extend to our most casual acquaintances. If you want your relationship to shine, try the following ideas:

·             When you catch yourself in a bad mood, stop and ask yourself if you.d speak to a co-worker the way you.re speaking to your partner. If the answer is no, then stop doing it!

·             Avoid name-calling and insults even when arguing. There are better ways to deal with your problems, and what you say in the heat of anger has a way of coming back to haunt you.

·             Say .I love you. at least once in a while.

·             Be willing to compromise. If you love chick flicks and your partner wants to watch things blow up, alternate movies. Sometimes you have to do something they want to do . but you should get the same courtesy in return!

·             Even if your partner complains about their family, chances are they care about them more than you think. Get along as well as you can with your partner.s family and friends. You don.t have to love them, but don.t complain about them, and treat them with courtesy.

·             Balance your time. Spend as much time as possible with your partner, but save time for yourself, your friends, and your family, too. Remember, your friends were your friends before your relationship. They deserve your attention, and it.s essential to maintain a part of your life that is solely your own.

Little Ways to Show You Care

You frequently hear people complain that the magic has gone out of their relationship. Chances are, they let it fade. Doing little things for your partner can make them feel special and let them know they.re loved. These aren.t huge endeavours but small things to make your partner feel special, such as:

·             Leave sticky notes hidden in their refrigerator to make them smile

·             Make them soup when they.re sick, even if it.s from a can

·             Buy small, silly, and inexpensive gifts . just something to let them know you.re thinking of them

·             Send them flowers at work

·             Be supportive and a good listener if they need to vent

·             Go to work-related functions with them

·             Have an overnight campout in the backyard

·             Spend time with their friends and families

·             Make their bed or sweep their floor if it needs it

·             Feed their pets

·             Put your arms around them while you watch TV

·             Spend a night in front of the fireplace with a bottle of wine and each other

·             Bake them cookies

·             Keep your kitchen stocked with a few treats you know they like

·             Share your talents: draw them a picture, write them a poem, or sing them a song!

·             Burn a special CD just for them

·             Open doors, pull out chairs, or offer to take their coat, even if it.s the hundredth time they.ve been to your house

·             Make them a friendship bracelet

·             Send an e-card

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