Dating with Style

When you meet your partner in person, there will probably be an initial awkwardness, no matter how well you've come to know each other online. Keep the following tips in mind:

·             Remember those conversation starters from your online speed date? They can come in handy now, too. Have a couple in mind to get that conversation rolling.

·             Be yourself. The whole point is to get to know each other better, and honesty is always the best policy. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. Pretending to have beliefs that aren't your own isn't going to help in the long run.

·             Don't be afraid to eat or drink as is appropriate to the location. Here you can take your cue from your partner: if they only order a coffee, you probably shouldn't have a full meal. You don't want to look like a pig, but don't be afraid to let them see you eat, either.

·             Mind your manners! Remember the rules from your online date. Demonstrate an attentive listening posture and respond to what your partner says. Don't monopolize the conversation, and for the time being at least, continue to avoid controversial topics.

·             If you're having fun, make sure you let your partner know. Now that you're meeting in person, you have more cues at hand to communicate your interest. If things are going really well, light touches are entirely appropriate (for example, a joking tap on the shoulder, a brush of the hand). Don't be afraid to actually say .I'm having a great time! I'm so glad we did this..

·             If things are going well, give the option of extending the date. If you're at a cafe, you can always say something like, .Do you have plans tonight? If you're not busy, maybe we could grab a bite to eat.. That way you're not pressuring your partner, but you're indicating your interest and giving yourselves the chance to spend more time.

Body Language

If body language was important on your speed date, it's essential now. Watch your partner and takes cues from what they're not saying.

·             Experts believe that most flirtatious positions are attempts to look larger (men) and attempts to look smaller (women). If he's puffing out his chest, or she's curving her shoulders, chances are there's a spark.

·             Watch your partner's hands. People are often conscious of their face and body, but forget about their hands. You can tell a lot about how someone's feeling by their hands. Clenched fists can indicate anger, reserve, or anxiety. Folded arms create a physical barrier. A hand resting on the table is reaching out to you. Be aware of your own body language, too . anxiety and reserve can appear the same. If you're leaning away with your arms crossed, it might be because you're nervous, but your partner may interpret it as a rebuff.

·             Watch for signs that your partner wants to touch you. Slight movements in your direction or frequently touching themselves can indicate that they would like to initiate physical contact, but aren't sure of their reception.

·             A powerful way to indicate attraction is mimicking. You've probably noticed that close friends and family members pick up each other's expressions and mannerisms. Mimicking your partner's movements can demonstrate attraction. But be subtle with this one, or your partner might think you're crazy!